2:06 AM

here's just a few random pics, i grabbed these from my classmate's blog.
i'll blog properly about it when i'm back in singapore?





mighty quaint looking place, i'm staying in 1622!


they all look the same, i still can't find my way back to my room


shoe heaven! everything is laid out nicely and arranged in sizes..and their shoes are so cheap you can just go mad in there..i got a pair of slippers for $5


even walmart is so entertaining. it's just so huge and they have so many varieties of everything. makes Giant look like a lousy neighbourhood grocery store


check out the prices! insane. roomies and i have 5 tubs sitting in the fridge..


i know it looks like a lot of fun but i really wish i could see some sunshine.

i'm really really really so homesick. i have class tmr need to wake up early. but, i miss everybody so much i can't get to sleep............zzzzz...i know i know so pathetic right =/

HELPLESS

you know the feeling when you have so many things to say, but you just can't?

well i'm feeling it right now. and it's not because i don't want to it's just that i happen to be tens of thousands of miles away that's why i have no opportunity to.

i'm feeling all choked up and congested inside. such a helpless feeling.

please mr. fix-it, will you help me?





being happy isn't easy. to think i was so jolly 24 hours ago.
the irony of it all.

=( i'm freaking sad

OFF FOR 3 DONKEY WEEKS!

super long ago picture taken in phuket and it's kinda grainy, but nvm la!

3 weeks n oklahoma, after a superrrrrrrrrrr long flight.
i'm going to miss everyone!
especially you, dear! i wanna go to a beach resort again! i wanna see sunset!

let's see. here's all the people that i'll miss like crazy. actually i figure i'll get super homesick, i really don't like to be separated from friends and family for more than 3 days -_-

i'm going to miss SAM!! i've been troubling her by giving her almost daily afternoon calls =/ but we're going out after her exams. yes sam?
and ling!
let's go ktv!
and bff wj! last week's shopping was fun!
jannah milkshake! brownies!
poca, hope you liked your bday present!
oscar, quick finish your exams and hangout soon!
jazzy, sorry you gotta handle all the photoshop!
did i miss out anyone? haha, don't think so, my list of friends ain't very long
but i think all of us are mighty close!

LOVESSSSSSS!

i just wanna quick go and hurry back to singapore!
got ice-cream and x-men waiting for me!

n MUFFINBOY. omg i miss him so much i want to cry everytime i think of him.
he's so cute i swear! i'd do anything for him!
muffffffinnnnnnnnnnnn must miss me ok wait for me to come back!

AHEM. i'll be back on 18th may. SQ11 ok!!

GRR

why does x-men origins: wolverine only come out when i'm away????????

i think my friends know, i'm a super fan of superhero movies, and x-men is my ultimate favourite!

nooooooooo...............can only watch when i'm back..



anyway, life's been a rollercoaster ride lately
maybe i need to learn to take things more lightly?
i don't know.
3 weeks later!

yesterday's anxiety attack was absolutely horrible. thought i had to check myself into a hospital. couldn't breathe, stomach pain, dizzy!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

i got myself too worked up and agitated. my doctor wanted to kill me.

According to wikipedia:
Panic attacks are very sudden, discrete periods of intense anxiety, fear, stomach problems and discomfort that are associated with a variety of somatic and cognitive symptoms. The onset of these episodes is typically abrupt, and may have no obvious triggers.
Experiencing a panic attack is said to be one of the most intensely frightening, upsetting and uncomfortable experiences of a person's life.

Panic attacks are commonly linked the fear of not being able to escape a bad situation. Many who experience panic attacks feel trapped and unable to free themselves.
The effects of a panic attack vary from person to person. Some, notably first-time sufferers, may call for emergency services. Many who experience a panic attack, mostly for the first time, fear they are having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown.

so, what i need to do now is to calm down, take a deep breath and take things slowly

but i almost panicked again today!
i don't know why but when something doesn't go as expected my brain just can't think of anything positive, i start to panic, i can't breathe and all that nonsense
even for something small, i imagine all kinds of things.
if you know what goes through my brain you'd be amazed. like a drama

while i was looking through my notes just now and i couldn't find the chapter i wanted my heart started POUNDING.
omg since when was i so panicky?
must be nerves.
=(

argh. WAKE UP WAKE UP what am i doing???

at least the paper's tmr, one less thing to stress me up

i never like to speak my mind, leaves me feeling vulnerable
nonetheless i can't even find the words to describe what i'm feeling now
don't know where to begin even.
but that was the most painful line i've ever heard

it doesn't matter, i always hide my feelings anyway





i love you so much,
wish you knew

DISTURBIA?

do u know how i've been feeling lately?

i haven't been sleeping well, been having nightmares
i thought that i've managed to push all these thoughts away
actually i succeeded, but they only came back again recently

2 days ago, there was a stranger camped my floor's staircase landing in the wee hours of the morning
my parents asked him to move but he refused to move away.
my mom called me when she reached the office and told me not to go out

yesterday one of my neighbours whom i've rarely seen and i'm not acquainted with.
omg.
when i was going down the staircase towards my unit he was just leaving.
he walked past me. then. he stopped.
he walked down the staircase slowly. and he stopped again and stood in the corner and watched me.
bloody frightening. and his gaze was that type of. er. wolf watching a sheep?
i could feel his gaze burning. eeps
i ran back to my house and fumbled with the lock.
my brother asked what happened and i told him the neighbour was leering horribly at me.

=(
i'm really scared.
my greatest fear is such unwelcome attention.

PLEASE

why do people think it's alright to tell a skinny person that they're skinny?

is it because you think we won't mind?

i beg to differ. it's as rude as telling a bigger sized person that they're fat.
SAME.

very rude.

my mom likes to keep telling me that i'm skinny.

of course i know that.
what do you think i see when i look in the mirror everyday?
so why keep reiterating that i'm skinny?

you think it doesn't bother me?
if i had a choice don't you think i would prefer to be full-figured instead?

if you say i'm skinny and stop there it's fine.
but over and over again it's NOT. it makes me feel and look like shit and my confidence just drops to below subzero
my mom does that EVERYDAY. "wah that's all bones ALL BONES blah blah"
and my dad will pipe in.
if i really want to be nasty i'd just say by comparison of cos as you're fat.
but i never say that right?

so why can't people be more sensitive?

stop ok please. it's rude and it's very depressing

PAINS OF BEING FEMALE!!

my cramps this time round are killing me!!!

i feel so lethargic. and i slept for a good 12 hours! not that i'm tired, but i just couldn't get out of bed as my back really hurts!

yesterday and today!

and i stayed up late to study yesterday and guess what!
mom kept calling me in the wee hours of the morning while i was sleeping over itty bitty stuff.

8.50 am i received an sms -- "bring me go prawning"
9 am received a call -- "help your brother with his ns registration"
11 am another call -- "shall i buy egg tarts?"

AIYO MY MOM! but sometimes it's quite cute la..haha..

ah cramps cramps! i need a hug i want my bf =(

HEADACHE

have you met people you can't communicate with?
my dad is one of them.
seriously, CAN'T talk to him.
because no matter what i say to him, i have no idea why he can't listen, he will twist my words around so that it becomes a completely different thing, and then he'll get all huffy over it. LIKE A WOMAN.
it is damn irritating.
i give up really. and he's so sensitive. when i absolutely DID NOT criticise him, he says i did.
so frustrating.
it's so tiring i wishhhhhhhhh i didn't come home just now.

forget it, don't want to think about unhappy stuff.

caught the shinjuku incident over the weekend. i thought it was pretty nice!
rather action packed with funny moments and sad parts. i didn't think any part of the movie was boring. nice! though i squirmed through certain portions. too gross and unexpected! kinda things i'd expect from SAW. bf found it funny. so bad!

had steamboat at punggol marina cos it was his mom's bday. ah. MY mom has been dying to go there as she wants to go prawning! she's been nagging at me. the first thing she said when i stepped through the door today was PRAWNING! she wanted to go this coming sat but too bad! it's jazzy's 21st! my goodness we've been eating so much steamboat! everytime i just eat a lot of pork and golden mushrooms. i'm going to grow fat!

i was a royal loser again in mahjong yesterday! why!!

i want to eat happy food! like a mudpie! i polished off a whole box of strawberries today right after my lunch. i have a stomachache now =x

shall go rest. spent almost the whole night watching gem of life! exciting!

NO TO LETTUCE!

ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

i just caught my mom trying to feed lettuce to muffin!

murder!!!!!

i wonder what she's been feeding him whenever i'm not around.
i already told her mny many times that rabbits can't at lettuce!
"orh orh orh" but still like that!

MUSINGS

my rabbit is so naughty!
the moment i open the cage door. ZOOM! and he disappears.
i can only manage to turn my head and see his tail fading into some distant corner.
then he'll randomly appear when i least expect it to surprise me and can't be found when i'm looking for him.
haiyo!
love him to bits! even the veggie sellers at the market also know him already. i've been waving his pic in front of their faces. haha!

it's always been my belief that smart people talk less and listen more.
actually i think it's quite true in many cases but of course there are exceptions. like lawyers.
ah what am i saying. i know what i want to say but i can't seem to describe it!
anyway. i have no idea why some idiots say everything on their blogs and act so upset and victimised when others read it.
come on, don't be stupid.
don't want people to know then why put it on your blog?

i was in town with jas yesterday. amazing! i only spent $10.
don't know why but i really don't feel like spending money on clothes.
everything everywhere is the same! boring.
but i think i need clothes. always wearing the same thing. bleah.
my skin is awful. i want to go for facial! and i want to fix my hair. but no time and no money!

tried studying a bit just now. ah. read 1 paragraph walk around the house once.
how to finish all the chapters?

it's april already. i feel more depressed with each passing day.
don't want to go don't want to go don't want to pack!!

and yes, april fools' day has to be the most annoying thing ever!
i never know whether to take things seriously on this day.
jas told me that she twisted her arm very badly -_-
i was telling her to wake her whole family etc and i believed it for a whole hour before she finally "HAHA APRIL FOOLS'" me
!!!