of rosy daydreams and pretty bubbles

yesterday's anxiety attack was absolutely horrible. thought i had to check myself into a hospital. couldn't breathe, stomach pain, dizzy!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

i got myself too worked up and agitated. my doctor wanted to kill me.

According to wikipedia:
Panic attacks are very sudden, discrete periods of intense anxiety, fear, stomach problems and discomfort that are associated with a variety of somatic and cognitive symptoms. The onset of these episodes is typically abrupt, and may have no obvious triggers.
Experiencing a panic attack is said to be one of the most intensely frightening, upsetting and uncomfortable experiences of a person's life.

Panic attacks are commonly linked the fear of not being able to escape a bad situation. Many who experience panic attacks feel trapped and unable to free themselves.
The effects of a panic attack vary from person to person. Some, notably first-time sufferers, may call for emergency services. Many who experience a panic attack, mostly for the first time, fear they are having a heart attack or a nervous breakdown.

so, what i need to do now is to calm down, take a deep breath and take things slowly

but i almost panicked again today!
i don't know why but when something doesn't go as expected my brain just can't think of anything positive, i start to panic, i can't breathe and all that nonsense
even for something small, i imagine all kinds of things.
if you know what goes through my brain you'd be amazed. like a drama

while i was looking through my notes just now and i couldn't find the chapter i wanted my heart started POUNDING.
omg since when was i so panicky?
must be nerves.
=(

argh. WAKE UP WAKE UP what am i doing???

at least the paper's tmr, one less thing to stress me up